Letter of wishes¶
A letter of wishes is a personal, non-binding document written by the testator alongside a will. It explains the reasoning behind decisions in the will, records preferences the will does not cover, and gives the executor (and any guardians, attorneys, or trustees) practical guidance for the period after the testator's death.
Why it sits separately from the will. A will is a formal legal document — every change requires a fresh signing and witnessing — and is admitted to public record once probate is granted. A letter of wishes carries none of those formalities and remains private. It can be updated whenever the testator wants by simply rewriting and replacing it; no witnesses, no signing in front of others.
Typical contents:
- The reasoning behind specific gifts (especially where someone has been deliberately left out, to head off later disputes).
- Funeral preferences — burial or cremation, music, readings, religious or secular tone, who should be involved.
- Care instructions for any pets.
- Notes for guardians of children under 18: parenting values, school preferences, family relationships to maintain.
- Notes for trustees managing money for minor or vulnerable beneficiaries.
- A list of where to find important papers, bank account details, and digital-account access (often in a sealed envelope or with a password manager rather than the letter itself).
- Personal messages to family or friends.
What it is not: a substitute for legally binding clauses. Anything the testator wants to be legally enforceable — distribution of assets, appointment of executors, appointment of guardians — must be in the will itself. A letter of wishes that contradicts the will does not override it.
Where to keep it: with the will, and with a clear note to the executor that it exists. Some solicitors store letters of wishes alongside the original will; others return them to the client.
→ Making a will · Recording funeral wishes · Naming guardians in your will · Estate planning checklist
AfterLoss¶
See how AfterLoss handles planning mode for where a letter of wishes sits alongside the will and other planning paperwork.